Mozzie Farmer

I’m thinking about quitting my job as an assistant English teacher to start a mosquito farm. Apparently I have a knack for breeding mosquitoes. One would think that with the turn in the temperature (my guess is that it is in the 50s during the day and maybe in the 20s-30s at night), that the little buggers would take the hint and either die off or winter in Okinawa, but no. They’ve all decided to move into my apartment. Not only are they some mutant, cold-resistant breed of mosquito, but I think they’ve all had Ninja training as well, because they only come out at night and move in to feast on my hands and face while I’m asleep. Previously I thought skeeter bites on the hands were the worst (anywhere on the hands, but on the fingers might be the most wretched), but twice now I’ve woken up with a swollen left-eye and once with a half-swollen lip so I’ve changed my mind about the hands being the worst place to get bitten. I had declared a mini-war after the two left-eye incidences, but after the lip (which was accompanied by a couple posterity bites to the fingers), it’s an all-out declaration. I've found that my ancient, maroon, long-sleeved shirt works very well as an anit-mozzie weapon (why, I don't know; they are able to escape my counter-attacks with everything but this shirt) and I'm not above sitting up for 20 minutes at 3am with my maroon shirt in-hand to mozzie hunt (generally because they've woken me up with another stealth Ninja attack). But if they don't go away soon one way or another, I'm going to lose my mind and end up like Johnny Depp's character from Pirates of the Caribbean.